ARE YOU DRINKING THE POISON OF RESENTMENT?

There’s an old saying that holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

Think about that for a moment.

Someone hurts you. Maybe they betrayed your trust, said something they can’t take back, treated you unfairly, or simply weren’t there when you needed them. The moment passes, but the hurt doesn’t always leave with it.

So we carry it.

We replay the conversation. We remember what they did. We imagine what we should have said. Sometimes months or even years later, we’re still having an argument in our minds that the other person may have forgotten long ago.

That’s the danger of resentment.

It doesn’t change the past. It only allows the past to keep affecting the present.

Forgiveness Is Not Approval

One reason we hold onto resentment is because letting it go can feel like we’re saying what happened was okay.

We’re not.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase consequences. It doesn’t require us to trust someone who has repeatedly broken our trust. And it certainly doesn’t mean every relationship needs to be restored.

Sometimes healthy boundaries are necessary.

Forgiveness is about refusing to let another person’s actions continue controlling your peace.

There is humility in that decision because we stop focusing on what someone else should do and begin asking what we can do with the hurt we’re carrying.

Resentment Takes Up Space

Resentment has a way of occupying space that could be filled with something better.

Gratitude. Joy. Peace. Hope. Love.

It’s difficult to fully enjoy today when part of your heart is still fighting yesterday.

Jesus taught repeatedly about forgiveness, not because what people do to us doesn’t matter, but because He understood what unforgiveness can do inside us.

Forgiveness is often less about changing the person who hurt us and more about changing what their hurt is allowed to do to us.

You Don’t Have to Carry It Forever

Maybe someone owes you an apology you’ll never receive.

Maybe they don’t understand how deeply they hurt you.

Maybe they aren’t sorry at all.

Your peace cannot depend on their response.

At some point, we have to decide whether we are going to continue drinking the poison of resentment or finally put the cup down.

That doesn’t always happen in one dramatic moment. Forgiveness can be a process. Sometimes we have to make the same decision again tomorrow.

But each time we let go a little more, resentment loses a little more of its power.

If you want to be truly happy, you cannot spend your life carrying every hurt, disappointment, betrayal, and offense with you.

The past can teach you.

It can shape you.

It can even make you wiser.

But it doesn’t have to define you.

Let go of what you cannot change. Protect your peace. And make room in your heart for the life God still has ahead of you.

Doug & Marcia Mithun The Kindness Couple