Secure Enough to Celebrate Someone Else
Have you ever watched someone else succeed and, before you could even be happy for them, found yourself thinking:
Why not me?
Maybe they received the promotion, recognition, opportunity, or attention you wanted. You congratulate them, but somewhere inside, comparison starts doing its work.
I understand that feeling because I’ve had those thoughts too. I could have done that. I should have gotten that opportunity.
But lately I’ve been thinking about how much freedom there is in learning to genuinely celebrate someone else.
Paul writes in Philippians 2:3:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
We often think of humility as not bragging or thinking too highly of ourselves. But humility shows up in another place too: how we respond when someone else gets something we wanted.
Comparison Turns Someone Else’s Blessing Into Our Disappointment
Comparison has a way of changing the meaning of another person’s success.
Instead of seeing their accomplishment for what it is, we immediately hold it next to our own life.
They’re further ahead.
They’re getting noticed.
Their opportunity should have been mine.
Before long, something good happening to another person makes us feel worse about ourselves.
That’s a miserable way to live because there will always be someone to compare ourselves with.
Someone will have more money. Someone will receive more recognition. Someone will have a larger platform, a better opportunity, a bigger house, a happier-looking family, or whatever happens to touch our particular insecurity.
You can spend your entire life keeping score and never win.
Security Changes the Equation
Ephesians 2:10 tells us that “we are God’s handiwork.”
Think about what that means.
God didn’t accidentally give someone else your gifts. Their calling isn’t a mistake that should have belonged to you. And the opportunity God gives another person doesn’t reduce what He can do through your life.
We can stop treating life as though God has a limited supply of blessings.
Their success is not your failure.
Their gift does not diminish yours.
Their season does not determine yours.
When you become secure in who God created you to be, something changes. You no longer need to compete with everyone around you.
You become free to encourage them.
Practice Becoming an Encourager
Romans 12:15 gives us a wonderfully simple instruction:
“Rejoice with those who rejoice.”
Sometimes that takes practice.
The next time someone tells you about something good happening in their life, pay attention to your first reaction.
If comparison shows up, recognize it. You don’t have to pretend it isn’t there.
Then choose something different.
Ask another question about their good news. Compliment them. Tell them you’re happy for them. Encourage what God is doing in their life. Resist the temptation to immediately redirect the conversation toward yourself.
And here’s something I’ve discovered: the more you practice celebrating people, the easier it becomes.
Encouragement begins changing the encourager.
There Is Freedom in Not Keeping Score
Maybe humility isn’t about making ourselves smaller.
Maybe it’s becoming secure enough in God that we no longer need someone else to be smaller so we can feel bigger.
That’s a very different way to walk through life.
You can enter a room without wondering how you measure up.
You can watch someone else shine without needing some of the light.
You can applaud loudly when it’s their turn.
And when comparison whispers, That should have been you, you can answer with something better:
Good for them. God has a plan for their life, and He has one for mine too.
That is more than humility.
That is freedom
Doug and Marcia The Kindness Couple.
