Shake It Off
There is an old story about a farmer whose donkey fell into a dry well. The animal cried out while the farmer tried to figure out how to rescue him. Finally, deciding the well needed to be filled anyway and seeing no way to get the donkey out, the farmer began shoveling dirt into it.
At first, the donkey cried even louder. Then he grew quiet. When the farmer looked down, he saw something unexpected. With every shovelful that landed on his back, the donkey shook off the dirt and stepped up onto it. He kept doing this until he rose high enough to climb out of the well.
The dirt intended to bury him became the ground beneath his feet.
It is a simple story, but it raises a question worth considering: What do we do with what lands on us?
We all get our share. A cutting remark. A disappointment. A mistake we wish we could undo. Someone questions our motives, overlooks our effort, or lets us down when we were counting on them. Sometimes we have barely recovered from one setback before another arrives.
Our first reaction is usually understandable. We feel hurt, angry, embarrassed, or discouraged. We replay what happened. We imagine what we should have said. We tell the story to someone else, hoping they will agree that we were treated unfairly.
But there comes a point when replaying the experience keeps us stuck in it. The remark took a few seconds to make, yet we give it the rest of the afternoon. A disappointment becomes a prediction about our future. One mistake starts shaping how we see ourselves.
“Shake it off” can sound dismissive, especially when someone says it before taking the time to understand our pain. Some hurts take time to work through. Some situations require help, a difficult conversation, or a firm boundary. We cannot expect ourselves to shrug off everything that happens.
Still, we can ask what deserves to stay with us.
Criticism is a good example. Perhaps someone delivers it poorly, but there is something useful in what they said. We can examine the criticism, make an adjustment where needed, and release the insult. We do not have to carry someone’s harshness to benefit from an honest observation.
Disappointment can also leave us with something useful. It may show us where we need a better plan, clearer expectations, or the courage to try another approach. We may need to grieve what did not work out before we can see what is possible next.
Then comes the part of the donkey story that is easy to overlook: He stepped up.
Shaking off the dirt alone would not have gotten him out of the well. He had to move. For us, that next step might be apologizing, applying again, asking for help, or having the conversation we have been avoiding. It might be returning to a routine after discouragement pulled us away.
We rarely climb out of a difficult season in one dramatic leap. We make progress through choices that may seem small at the time.
Those choices affect the people around us, too. When we carry resentment into the next conversation, someone else often receives the weight of something they did not cause. When we work through our hurt, we have more patience available for our families, our neighbors, and the stranger who crosses our path.
The donkey could not control what the farmer shoveled into the well. But each time it landed, he found his footing again.
We will have days when that is about all we can manage. Acknowledge what hurts. Find something we can learn or use. Take the next step.
Shake it off. Take a step up. Keep going.
Doug and Marcia Mithun are The Kindness Couple, sharing encouragement rooted in faith, humility, and kindness. Visit TheKindnessCouple.com.
